Scattered Thoughts
A word of prayer is in order for football fans in Texas. Luckily y’all have TCU and Texas Tech to hold you down in place of the bed poops taken by Texas A&M, Texas, Baylor, Houston Texans, and the Dallas Cowboys.
I include Texas but only because victory was in their grasp both figuratively and literally during a corner blitz…
Although to be fair “grasps” and “Bryce Young” seemed to be a bit of a metaphysical fluidity throughout this game.
I honestly think you could replay this sequence 1000 times with different sets of referees and you’d never get the distinct kind of embezzlement of reason that was on display here.
I think my friend Ben Rector1 said it best:
Moving to the NFL, I dunno man, does the NFC suck? The Eagles, Bucs, Cowboys, Rams, Saints, Packers, Niners all either lost or underwhelmed and the AFC looked as good as Rex Ryan’s teeth whitening!
REX! You have to say “WHEN”!
After this weekend, I wonder if Brian Kelly left Notre Dame because of the opportunity at LSU or because the cupboard was bare in South Bend?
Field goal kicking in the NFL this weekend seemed to be about as successful as Olivia Wilde’s recent press strategy. HEY-O.
CLIPS AS METAPHORS NOW THAT WE ARE FULLY FOOTBALL OPERATIONAL
OVERREACTIONS
Time to play the time-honored tradition of “DRUNK OR HIGH?”
My kingdom for a horse and for this to have been Zadarius Smith tackling Aaron Rodgers by his somehow-always-wet man bun.
This feels like the equivalent of our Friday night take out dinner plans:
Mexican Food Delivered By DoorDash: $15,000,000.00
Mexican Food Picked Up By Me Because I Drove to the Restaurant: $42.78
Spoiler Alert: I made the same decision as the University of Nebraska.
I never get tired of Hail Mary finishes especially because of (insert Catholic joke because of Holy Cross, but also remember to look up Holy Cross because you have no idea what their religious affiliation is).
LISTEN
UNDER-REACTIONS
One more time because I mean, INCREDIBLE.
And this was at home! Imagine if it had been in Tuscaloosa! The Texas defensive line might have been drawn and quartered on the spot!
Listening to the officials explain their rationale felt a little like this scene from Billy Madison…
Texas fans and players, find some comfort in imagining the medieval torture practices Nick Saban has planned for his team from now until the end of the season.
Was watching this live and GASPED. Sure was a shame that basically the entire Pitt QB room was carried out via stretcher and STILL almost won.
(Breathes into a paper bag because of all the future bets I have tied to the Dolphins)
I watched this entire game and hated myself for it. My favorite part was when the announcers had to pretend to be impressed by Mitch Trubisky.
This is a billion dollar sport that spares no expense when it comes to—
SURRENDER COBRAS OF THE WEEK
We interviewed him once on the show and he does not know we are friends.
My (first) cousin (once removed) is #3 on the Holy Cross team (Spencer Gilliam) so imagine my surprise when their team showed up on your highlights! He's a beast. Be watching him. He will win you money in the future wink wink.